My family and I are living in France but are gearing up to have an expat Thanksgiving. I’ve been thinking of a few very important Thanksgivings for me as well as the importance of gratitude and feel that this email is kind of important, one that points to the essential spiritual practice of gratitude.
The first Thanksgiving I want to tell you about is when in 2002 I’d just arrived in Korea with a 1-year contract to teach English. The school was composed of both native Korean teachers as well as native English-speaking teachers from many different countries around the world. Though there were only a handful of American teachers, the owner of the school thought it would be a great bonding experience for all the teachers despite their nationality to come together and celebrate Thanksgiving.
The biggest problem was that Koreans don’t eat turkey— don’t even know what it is, really. But, thanks to a large US military base stationed in Seoul, about 2.5 hours away by train, nothing was out of reach … if you were willing to pay for it (read black market). One of the teachers of the school grew up in a military family and was no stranger to the black markets that often surrounded military operations.
A full-day’s journey and several hundred dollars later, he arrived back to the school with a mostly-frozen turkey. One problem remained: nobody had cooked a turkey before and given the cost of money and time, everyone was paranoid that they’d mess up the turkey. I volunteered.
I researched the many different ways that one can cook a turkey and chose a way that I hope would produce a nice bird. The pressure was on but I cooked it and it turned out wonderful and nobody got food poisoning. Despite how perfectly cooked the bird was, Turkey didn’t translate for the Korean teachers who passed with a hard “no.” The English-speaking teachers couldn’t understand the roasted silkworm larvae, the fermented soybean paste, and the cornucopia of squid presented in every form imaginable (and many unimaginable.) Everyone found common ground on the roasted veg, the rolls, and the desserts (despite how sickly sweet they were). I’ll never forget that Thanksgiving.
Another Thanksgiving I’ll never forget was last year, 2020 in Utah. After what had already been one helluva year with the pandemic, around the beginning of November, my mom began in-house hospice as the result of run-away cancer which started in her colon and had eventually riddled her body.
By Thanksgiving, she hadn’t left her bed in a week and hadn’t eaten in several days. In my family, my mom is the Queenpin of Thanksgiving so without her at the helm, the crew was going to have to steer that ship. My brother did most of the cooking but Sen and I stepped in as well; I was in charge of making mom’s famous rolls, a crucial and beloved element of our Thanksgiving dinner which, I must say, turned out beautifully.
The meal was a very special and tender-hearted affair—small and meaningful with only 6 of us, those who were closest to my mom, gathered around the table with my mom on a respirator in the other room. And though my mom wasn’t conscious and couldn’t join us at the table nor eat, it was nonetheless heartwarming to know that she was with us for this last Thanksgiving. My mom died two days later.
A few weeks later, I had something like a dream about my mom. Actually it felt so much more meaningful than an ordinary dream that I can’t help but call it a vision. In my vision, my family and I were sitting at something like a meeting in church and my mom was at the pulpit looking happy, well, and absolutely radiant. She was dressed in a beautiful emerald green skirt and jacket, the color of hope, renewal, and rebirth. She was speaking to all of her beloved family and friends in the audience with genuine joy. “I’m just so grateful. I’m just so grateful,” she repeated over and over again with absolute sincerity. This was her only message. Around her were a small band of Native American shamans who were chanting and drumming, building in an incredible crescendo. At their apex, my mother suddenly burst into flames. She didn’t catch fire but rather became transformed into flames—a phoenix reborn through fire. Everyone in the audience was taken aback with shock, everyone except the shamans who seemed to know exactly what would happen and who simply continued their rite of drumming and chanting.
As we prep for Thanksgiving, the bitter-sweetness of last year lingers; it is difficult to be without her. Still, her gift of gratitude survives her. Truly, my work, both vocationally as well as my personally, is one where I get to explore that eternal part inside of each of us that never dies. I believe that what my mom was telling me in my vision is that an eternal element that links us all together is gratitude. Surely gratitude is one of the greatest practices one can practice in this lifetime.
This year, we are living in Nice, France and we get to spend this Thanksgiving with adopted family. Nana Chris is also from the US and is the mother of one of my yoga students and dear friend from Utah. Nana Chris happened to be living in Nice the first time we came here to live around this time in 2018. Having never met us previously, she showed up to an introductory lunch at one of her favorite restaurants with a large bag full of gifts for us and our little Elio, and took no time to adopt us as her family. It was so nice to have someone we could relate to while we were being brand new in France, our first time living here as a family.
Being back in Nice, we are so grateful for her and are looking forward to a very French Thanksgiving with her. We couldn’t get a turkey this year so instead Chris’ butcher, Demian (she’s on a first-name basis with all of the shops in her neighborhood) has ordered us a very special and particular French chicken. We’ll also be serving and making stuffing from what we consider the best damn baguette in the known world. In fact, when I told the man at the boulangerie that this was the best baguette I’ve ever eaten, he blew off the statement as if it were already a proven fact. I may as well have told him that they have discovered that the earth is in fact round. Instead of pies, we will be buying some truly exquisite French pastries. We also bought a beautiful bottle of wine to share. Adopted food, country, and family will certainly be the theme to this year’s Thanksgiving.
Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Regardless, do you have any very special holidays you can remember? Regardless of whatever holiday you celebrate, what I think is a more important question is what are YOU grateful for? If you’ll permit me, I’ll start …(a-hem).
I’m so grateful for my love, my partner, my muse, the Goddess who is my wife, Seneca. We are great partners and she supports me, loves me, and helps me grow in every way. I’m so grateful for her vision and sense of adventure. I’m also infinitely grateful to be the papa to little Elio and the stepdad to our older son Liam (1st grade and grad school, respectively).
I’m immensely grateful for loving and supportive family members, including parents, siblings and truly fantastic in-laws. I’m grateful for friends, many of whom are the kind of family you get to choose rather than what you’re born or married into.
I’m grateful for YOU! I love to have a job that connects me with you, wherever you are living on this globe. Truly we are connected in small and large ways through the inimitable practice of sharing ideas, life, and spirit. Thank you for who you are to make this world a better place and for your connection, kindness, and support to me.
I’m grateful for a career where I get to share my ideas and share spirit in a way that I hope makes a difference in the world by helping people to become their best person. I’m grateful that my career helps me as much as anyone else by driving me along my own path toward self-understanding.
I’m grateful to be able to travel, to be living in France (a country I adore), and for the opportunity to learn more about what I find to be a fascinating culture and a beautiful language.
Drop me a line, I’d love to hear about your memorable celebrations as well as whatever you are most grateful for at this moment.
May gratitude be among our essential spiritual practices as we work our way through the fierce heat of living and may we all transform into the angels of love we are destined to be.
PS
Also, this weekend I’ll be hosting my most requested Yoga Nidra workshop: Teaching Yoga Nidra Dyads. A Yoga Nidra dyad is a transformational, 1:1 Yoga Nidra experience where a facilitator leads a practitioner through deepening layers of relaxed Awareness via a mindful dialogue which helps the practitioner illuminate their greatest Awareness. This unique form of guided meditation is a very powerful method to work 1:1 with your clients. It can also help with healing in body, mind and spirit, and can offer clarion insight into one’s purpose and the very nature of their being. This will be hosted via Zoom and recorded so you can either join live (and even practice with other participants) and/or watch the replay. Please join me! Counts as Yoga Alliance continuing education credit.
I’d like to remind you that today, I’ll be a part of a free open mic meditation session via Zoom where I, along with a few other meditation teachers, will offer some wonderful and calming guided meditations. This will be happening from 8–9 pm GMT (3 pm Eastern, 2 pm Central, 1 pm Mountain, and 12 pm Pacific). The event is hosted by meditationcourses.co.uk and while it’s free, you will need to reserve a ticket. No matter where you are in the world, you can join from the comfort of your own home.
